Greetings Leaders!
I was faced with a very uncomfortable situation last week. Someone said something about me that was not true which resulted in a very bad outcome for me. I do not know who this person was, but they had the ear of someone important, and that is all that matters. Have you ever been in this situation before? If so, what did you do? What do you think I should have done?
In this case, I was faced with a no win situation. Without going into too much detail, I was the outsider. The others were insiders. Need I say more. There are times in life when you are going to be faced with something unfair and there is nothing you can do about it. Or is there?
I decided not to fight back, even though the outcome for me was very negative. My brother-in-law said I should fight. Perhaps he is right. But, what would that accomplish? In a battle of I said and they said, there are no winners. If I was also an “insider” perhaps that would make a difference. As an outsider, all that I would accomplish is having them push back harder as I pushed back. Making everyone’s life miserable. With the outcome always tilting in favor of the insider.
So, I just said that there was an obvious difference of opinion about the matter. I gave my side of the story once. They chose to believe the insider. Case closed.
What does this have to do with humility? Well, everything. Some of you may think that I was being timid. Perhaps. But I think I was being humble. I know I could have argued. I could have made the other person cringe. I could have put on my boxing gloves… only to… what? Make everyone feel bad, then end up losing anyway?
Sometimes humility means leaving well enough alone. To know that what you did was right, regardless of what others think. To have the confidence that everything will work itself out, because you had character and the other person didn’t.
Sometimes humility means walking away from a fight. Sometimes…
All the best!
All the time!
JT
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- Leading yourself into Humility (leadershipfreak.wordpress.com)
- Humility, The Essence of Great Leadership (sheilaenglish.wordpress.com)
- Honesty and Humility Linked to Better Job Performance (fyiliving.com)
I went through a similar situation from people that should really know better. I was tempted to really go to battle – so these people would learn a lesson. The more I think about the situation, the more upset I got. I’m not over the situation yet, but I know what anger does. I can’t condone the actions, and have let people know that what they did was wrong. They haven’t rectified the problem, but I know that I have to forgive them. This is something I really need to learn how to do.
Thanks for you open article.
Hi David…
Thanks for sharing your experiences also. Funny, I teach a large group of kids at our church, and this month’s lesson is on forgiveness. I thought about it a lot as I taught the lesson. I can totally relate to what you’re experiencing. Thanks again for sharing…. 🙂
John, I think you were wise. I remember some quote that said that bitterness kills the person who keeps it. There is always more going on than you think or know. In a few weeks as you reflect back on this, I’d be interested in knowing what you learned. The most challenging confrontations always have a hint of truth in them and in my experience, there is always something for me to learn. I just hate the hard lessons. Thanks for sharing. Mike…